Philosofi

One year since the Nikah (April 2013 Celebrations)

Alhumdulilah, Im truly blessed to have been married to the boss for over a year now. This year has literally flown by due to activities such as work, wedding preparations, starting our life together, partying post wedding, traveling and baby making.

Having spent a very independent life as compared to most average females around me (thanks to my father), I couldn’t really imagine what completely depending on a man would be like. Being married to the boss has made me feel how beautiful it is to be dependent on a husband for one’s emotional and physical health, for love, affection, finances, security and SO much more. Moreover I just wasn’t grown up to ever feel helpless dependent, sensitive, and emotional…but my husband has made me all that. His love has made me all that. Being in love does make one weak towards a particular person. When you see a man truly holds himself responsible of you and your child(ren in future ia)..although his parents keep telling me he will never grow up :) it just melts your heart. Well what can I say when I have never found him neglect any need of mine.

I’m at loss of words to describe how thankful I am to Allah for choosing this man for me and how grateful I am to my husband for everything he does to keep me happy . As I write this in our hotel in Prague (while the boss is away at work), tears drip down my eyes  just thinking of our life together this past year. Alhumdulilah my husband really gave me a fairytale life this year.

P.S I got the most beautiful early morning flowers, the cutest cards, and classy Tommy Hilfiger goodies from the boss for the anniversary. And now this wonderful trip to Prague (such a great city)!!!!…Just when I was getting overwhelmed by the physical and mental challenges of this pregnancy and feeling like a not so newly married bride…the boss gave me an episode of being genuinely pampered. 

May Allah bless him with the very best of both the worlds.Aameen.

A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

http://drkellyflanagan.com/2013/04/17/a-daddys-letter-to-his-little-girl-about-her-future-husband/

Responsibility

I’ve been told a million times by several people (family, friends and colleagues that I tend to take the weight of this world on my shoulders. Marrying the boss redefined responsibility. For the first time in my life I did not want to ‘think’ about each and everything happening around me and wanted to just go with the flow. Even though I dont bombard him with ‘all’ of my ‘thoughts’….i do always know he’s ‘there’..its such a relief..phew. 

However at the same time, he is the only ‘being’ ‘matter’ (i cant come up with a word) I felt responsible for…and now…………………. i already feel I am a mother…my mind fast forwards its self a couple of months and I visualize my life with MY family (inshAllah). Its beautiful beyond imagination (I also see responsibility taking new shapes and forms)…I’m going back to sleep. 

The Nikah Khutbah (translated)

“Thanks be to Allah that we praise Him, pray to Him for help; ask Him for pardon; we believe in Him, We trust Him; and ask Him to guard us from the evil of our own souls and from the evil consequences of our own deeds. Whomsoever He leaves straying no one can guide him. I bear witness that there is no God save Allah, who has no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, whom He has sent with truth as a bringer of good news and a warner.

Now, after Hamd-o-Salat, the best word is the book of Allah, and the best way is that of Muhammad, on whom be peace. The worst of all things are innovations and every innovation leads astray, and every thing that leads astray leads to Hell.

Whosoever obeys Allah and His messenger will be guided aright and whosoever disobeys will cause loss to his own self (and thereafter). Hereafter, I ask the refuge of Allah from Shaytan, the outcast.

O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women. be careful of your duty towards Allah in whom you claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bear you). Lo, Allah hath been a watcher over you. [Surah Al Nisa’ 4:1]

O ye who believe! Observe your duty to Allah with right observance, and die not save as those who have surrendered (unto Him). [Surah Ali ‘Imran 3:102]

O ye who believe! Guard your duty to Allah, and speak words straight to the point; He will adjust your works for you and will forgive you your sins. Whosoever obeyeth Allah and His messenger, he verily hath gained a signal victory. [Surah Al Ahzab 33:70-71]“